You are what you eat

Ahhhh, all that Yummy food.

Or, as Homer Simpson would say, "Donuts".

Well, you eat like shit your entire life and bad things happen to you. I know this is not a news flash to most of us. But to a large group of baby boomers (and by large I also mean physically) this is a news flash.

Here's the story:

At 59, he has taken over the responsibility of grocery shopping and cooking, a role his wife had for 30 years.

"The kitchen is now my domain," he said. "I enjoy cooking. It's like a hobby."

This transformation was spurred by rising blood pressure and cholesterol levels that landed Gordon at Northwestern Memorial Wellness Institute. After identifying his "food personality," working with a dietitian and exercising for the first time in his life, he dropped 30 pounds and lowered his blood pressure enough to scale back on medication.

"I never used to think about my meals or what I was eating," he said. "I knew I had to make changes."

Let's start somewhere in the middle. What the F#@K is a food personality? Who makes this crap up? What are these people 3. What next? Will we have Barney the dinosaur signing the "cholesterol song"? Wake up! You are almost 60.

OK, with that out of the way.

You are 59 and never thought about what you ate and you never exercised. This just leads me to believe there won't be a crisis with Social Security or Medicare because the boomers are all going to start dropping like flies. They are not going to live long enough in retirement to bankrupt us. (One could hope.)

This huge demographic is behind a majority of today's food trends -- everything from nutritionally enhanced foods and functional beverages to fresh local produce and artisanal foods.

"This generation is redefining what it means to have quality food," Barry said. And, she added, they're investing the time to become more knowledgeable about food.

How do they get their egos through the door. Maybe that is why their bodies have gotten so large.

Let me see if I've got this straight. The baby boomers are the generation that brought chain restaurants to the forefront of American cuisine. Where we used to have ethnic mom and pop restaurants we now have Chili's and The Cheesecake Factory.

So what they are saying is that now they have discovered other people of the world know how to make decent tasting food and they want credit for going to their mom and pop ethnic restaurants. The same types of places they first put out of business by only eating at McDonald's.

Nearly 80 million strong, this generation may have grown up on meat loaf, mashed potatoes and tuna casserole, but now they're seeking foods that can help them stay young, or at least feel young.

Boomers have traded in their Tang for orange juice fortified with ingredients that can lower their cholesterol. They've ditched their beloved Pop-Tarts for high-fiber flaxseed cereal and said good-bye to Tab for acai berry smoothies and green tea.

"The boomers do not view themselves as 'old' like their parents tended to at this age," said Matt Thornhill, president of the Boomer Project, which collects marketing data.

That's it. Rock music didn't keep you young. Yoga isn't keeping you young. Maybe orange juice with fish oil will do it. (Well, where do you think omega 3 comes from?)(OK it's also in flax seeds.)

As luck would have it, there's no shortage of advice on what boomers should eat to stay vital and fit. In fact, an anti-aging diet movement seems to be sweeping the nation: Bookstores and grocery stores are filled with how-to tomes and foods promising to keep your mind sharp, arteries clear, bones strong and joints pain-free.

A major champion of this movement is Dr. Michael Roizen, creator of the RealAge program and coauthor of the new book "You Staying Young: The Owner's Manual for Extending Your Warranty".

Just goes to show. Take a pile of horse shit put a shiny wrapper on it and the baby boomers will buy it. They'll buy anything if they think their neighbors might buy it too.