A Baby Boomer wants out

We've covered this one before in The Boomers Want Out.

There is a group of boomers that came late to the party and they don't feel like they are getting all that perks that their older siblings got.

Over at the Lahonton Valley News we get this gem from a baby boomer who wants out.

On Monday I will be 51 years old, and I'm a bit concerned. I'm not concerned about being over 50. I kind of saw that coming. I'm irritated about being labeled a "Baby Boomer." I don't think like a Boomer, I don't dress like a Boomer and that's because I am not a Baby Boomer.

The classic definition of a Baby Boomer is someone born between 1946 and 1965. It's meant to include the children of the Greatest Generation who fought WWII, saved the world and then came home, got married, used the GI Bill to go to college and buy a house, created the upper middle class and set about having babies to create the permanent Republican majority.

Real Baby Boomers came of age at a time when space travel was new, nuclear warfare was a real possibility and the Beatles shared the charts with Sinatra and Pat Boone. The rich ones joined the National Guard or got college deferments, and the rest were drafted and went to Vietnam. As a rule Boomers either wear sandals or hate people who wear sandals but, either way, most of them can roll a joint with one hand.

Sounds like you just described yourself. You had Disco. A drinking age of 18 and fashions that make 80's big hair look good. (Maybe that's why nobody really minded the big hair in the 80's it was better than the 70's.)

A lot of cool stuff happened during the 10 years that separates us from the others. The T-Bird, the '57 Chevy and the Mustang hit the roads. Chuck Berry, the Beatles, the Stones, Johnny Cash and Elvis all had hit records. On the big screen James Bond and John Wayne dominated the movies, and we watched Bonanza and Huckleberry Hound on our new color TVs.

Those are all things that the baby boomers claim as their own. In fact, those are all things the baby boomers want credit for. So, if I understand what you are saying, it goes something like this. "All the really cool things that make a baby boomer a baby boomer is what makes me different from a baby boomer so I'm not a baby boomer."

All baby boomers are ego centric cry babies. You are even crying about being a baby boomer. It is amazing.

We came of age after Watergate with a healthy distrust of government, an unhealthy appetite for fast food and stereos that were equipped with turntables and cassette decks that were always played too loud. We were the generation of American bands like Lynyrd Skynyrd, Journey and The Eagles, and we loved every minute of it.

This paragraph is a charm. Let's take it step by step.

First you claim that you are great because you've made yourself fat and deaf. There's something to be proud of. Hmmmmm, let me pry myself from my chair and go flip that record over. Omph, Omph. Ah hell, I'll just keep my fat butt here in the chair. Pass the fries.

Then you claim great American bands. Let's make this clear. Journey. Sucks. The Eagle. Suck.

Skynyrd, what can I say about that. They had a few good songs and now all the original members are dead (we'll I think one is still alive) yet they are still on tour. How the F is that possible? You boomers are so f'n stupid you will pay a lot of money to see what is, in reality, a cover band.

We are the generation that gave up the business suit for the polo shirt, the martini for the margarita and the comb-over for the shaved head. I turn 51 on Monday, and I am more familiar with my recliner than my 401K ,and I own more Hawaiian shirts than I own stocks, but given what the Boomers have done to the market, I'm cool with that.

There is something else to be proud of. You know your recliner better than your 401K. Nothing like screaming to the world that, "I'm watching TV while I go broke."

You sound like the typical baby boomer.

Sorry, you can't get out. You are condemned by your own words.