At what age do you start to put your ego behind you? Talk to any teen or someone in their early twenties and you are sure to hear a version of the world that is centered around them. That is normal human development.
At some point, usually in our early to mid-twenties, we realize that there is a great big world out there that does not conform to us and our way of thinking. We start to see that there are other points of view that don't even include us let alone put us at the center of the picture.
That is, of course, unless you are a baby boomer. If you are, then the world continues to spin around you even when you are becoming a grandparent.
It used to be grandparents were the ones you could dump the kids on when you needed a break. They would spoil the kids and send them home. They were content to be on the outside edge of the new family. After all, these were the grandkids. You can spoil your grandkids and have fun with them.
But if your a baby boomer. Well, it's all about you. And if its all about you, there must be a book to make you feel good about it.
Fortunately for you there is one now. From ABC News:
Do you still get to celebrate Mother's Day when you are also a grandmother?
Andy and Susan Hilford hope so. Their new book, "The Grandmother Book," is designed to help new grandmothers connect with their grandchildren and bridge across the generations, from mother to mother to child.
The Hilfords' book is similar to a traditional baby book, with space to record memories and notes for a member of a family to treasure for years to come.
But this baby book has a pretty cool modern grandma in mind -- maybe one who can't quite believe someone is calling her grandma at all.
You see, if you never grow up then there is no way that you can become a grandmother.
You have kids. They grow up. They have kids. Bang! You're a grandparent. It's the natural order of life. X-er's if you have kids then one day you too will be grandparents. Get over it. Now.
Grandma can divulge intimacies about "grandfather studmuffin" in this keepsake book and describe her own childhood, adolescence and even childbirth experience under headings like: "Where Were Epidurals When I Needed Them?"
The poor little baby. How will it ever get that image out of it's head.
You see. The baby boomer's child has a kid and the boomer has to talk about their sex life. You can see the connection right. No? Well, that's because you realize the world is not all about you.
"It's for the grandmothers who have become grandmothers much to their own surprise," Susan Hilford says.
Again, how can this be a surprise? You're kids got married. What do you think they are doing with their free time? How? Oh yeah, I forgot. The boomer generation is the only one that ever had sex.
Several new businesses offer a chance to make a mini documentary about a grandparent, which could include recording interviews and preserving the grandparents' image, voice and stories in their own words. But such videos can be costly -- sometimes thousands of dollars in professional video production. The Hilfords' book offers a lower price alternative.
Geeze, what ever happened to buying the kid a savings bond? How about a nice utility stock set up in a DRIP plan? That would be a better gift than you talking.
But then again, it is still all about them.
I can't imagine what I would do if my parents made a mini-documentary for their grandchildren.
"The Grandmother Book" prompts grandma to reflect on memories such as her own college experience and honeymoon -- personal details that not every grandparent may find the right moment to share with her grandchildren.
Again, there's an image to scar the child for life.
"Grandma, what I really want to know is when did you loose your virginity to grandpa? Was it on your wedding night."
"No dear. I was a liberated women. I lost my virginity to three guys in the back of a pickup. We were smoking dope and dropping some acid. You know what acid is right? Well, we we're having a grand ole time and one of the boys, he was quite the good looking jock type said, 'lets fuck' and, well, I was 15 at the time and I said, 'OK' and we did. It was wonderful"
"No, buy the time I even met your grandfather I was what you called experienced. Grandpa always wanted to know where I learned some of those things that....."
BLEECH!!
"Oh deary grandchild. Why are you puking? Are you having a bad trip?"
OK, not my best writing, but still......
UGH!
4 comments:
No, the great joy is when you have a child or two, and a Boomer grandparent or two who never grew up. This makes you, dear fellow X-er, the only adult in the room. Yes, it's up to you to be the party pooper, the drag, man, and to make all the harsh decisions.
YOU are the one who gets to no to the candy that makes little so-and-so hyperactive and makes Grandma's diabetes go nuts.
YOU are the one who has to say no to both whining voices when little so-and-so wants an expensive toy, and when Grandma buys it for him and then can't afford her rent on her Social Security payment.
YOU are the one who had to tell Grandma to stop telling little so-and-so bout the wonders of Disneyland because her generation sent the good jobs to India and ruined the economy and now we can't afford it and we are NOT charging it.
YOU are the one who has to get little so-and-so to do their homework and get Grandma to turn off the endless violent movies on cable while he does it.
And while we're at it YOU get to tell Grandma that violent movies and sex scenes are not appropriate for little so-and-so, and then have them tell you "But I let you watch it, and you're fine." Then YOU get to find another babysitter while you and your spouse make your weekly therapy appointment to continue to try to undo the damage
YOU get to explain to the grandparents that you have decided to have a baby, which means your children will be your focus for the next 20 years, NOT the baby boomers endless, mythic, medical complaints mostly caused by an unhealthy lifestyle. (Ever have a Baby Boomer tell you how out-of-control their diabetes is while eating M&M's and drinking Coke? Ever have one tell you they're staring on heart failure while their top of the line, bought on credit exercise equipment gathers dust? Not yet?)
YOU get to play referee between the divorced grandparents over who gets to or is spending more time with the grandchildren. And YOU get to make sure little so-and-so doesn't pick up on Grandma and Grandpa's unique nicknames for each other and for their current spouses. And then YOU get to figure out how to craft a holiday that doesn't bother anyone's real or imagined illness. (Three diabetics, one asthma induced by cat dander (with a smoker in the house) one allergies induced by smoke (With 4 cats in the house), one no salt, one no fats, one no carbs...none over 65)
YOU get to figure out where to spend the holidays, when your parents are divorced and you have 4 sets to choose from.
And so on, and on, and on...
Nice one anon!
The only adult in the room, I like that line.
Yeah. I live through some of that same stuff.
My mother loves to give my daughter hot chocolate even though it spazes her out. Fun times for all.
My father's remarried and I can't stand his wife. I assure you that it is not me. She is a total bitch. When she speaks she sounds like one of Marge's sisters (yes, the Simpons).
They are all totally into themselves. It is a great time.
And what is with the swearing in front of the kids. My dad and his wife are the worst. From the time my kids were crawling they were always, "God dam this" and "Screw Them" and "fuck that". Hello. They still do it. My daughters old enough now to look at my sideways when they do it like "what's with them?"
Fortunately we live far enough away from my wife's parents that it's not an issue.
We live far enough away from my dad that holidays aren't a problem either. We won't drive that far on a holiday.
Now the M&M's and Coke. That's a great one.
I'm sure I'll be seeing stuff like that soon because my dad had his first heart attack not that long ago and I'm sure that he won't change his diet for that long. And I can't see him giving up smoking for more than six months.
Anyway, Thanks for the great response.
Wonder why the American Economy and general mood of the times is so apocolyptic? It's because the baby boomers are so self absorbed that now that they are getting old and facing their own mortality, they think the world can't go on without them. If the world revolves around them, and they themselves are getting old and falling apart, then by-God, the world must be too. Newsflash babyboomers: the world will go on without you someday.
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