Confidence is High

To me it seems the best part of being a baby boomer would be the joy of having an over exaggerated sense of self confidence.

Remember, the baby boomers changed the world. They invented marijuana. These folks invented rock music. Well, OK, we know the didn't but they think they did. But how great must it be to know that you invented it anyway?

Now the baby boomers are getting ready to invent retirement. Some column, somewhere, written by some boomer has all this to say:

Just as the we-can-do-anything generation approaches the open doors of retirement, many are hesitating to take the jump. Skydiving, rock climbing, running marathons and other evidence of physical prowess and purpose characterized the boomer generation. They made themselves the healthiest, and they set new standards for spending money and living in the now.

Wow, there's a lot in that one! If they made themselves the healthiest why are the so overweight? Now, I will agree with the, "set new standards for spending money" because the majority of them are broke.

Let's follow along:

Here's my assessment of what boomers see as they stand on the threshold of retirement. These further observations are based purely on my 15 years of experience advising boomers on how to get themselves on an appropriate financial course.

In the immortal words of that boomer looser Dr. Phil, "How's that working for ya?" Have they been listening to you?

About 20 percent (that's one out of every five) (x-er: Holy shit, no wonder we are so royally fucked if he had to tell us that. 1 in 5 is twenty percent. Fuck. I might have had to use a fucking calculator to figure that one out.) have laid out a credible plan for themselves and are confident they'll be fine financially in retirement. The problem is that 60 percent (x-er: That's 3 out of 5 for you fucks reading this that don't want to think it through. Why the hell didn't he stick that factoid in there too?) of the boomers think they are in the top 20 percent. That means that 40 percent (x-er: that's 2 out of 5 just for fucking consistency (I thought of messing with the numbers and writing 1 out of 5 to see if anyone noticed but then I thought people wouldn't get the joke so, oh well....)) are overconfident and are deluding themselves and, more regrettably, their spouses.

Boy you don't expect that behavior in a baby boomer. Over confident? Baby boomers? You're shitting me, right? (geeze, what's with me today? I've Got the volume cranked up to 11.)

Then the final 20 percent, 25 percent at best, get the value of consulting an experienced retirement-income specialist (x-er: warning, foreshadowing) to design an appropriate distribution strategy with the highest possible probability, based on the best statistical modeling available, they will not run out of money before they die. Retirees are looking for a clear and simple set of steps which make their money and resources last.

As a retirement-income adviser (x-er: spoiler alert), I explain that my job, above all others, is to do what I can to make your money last at least as long as you do.

Oh, I get it now. This isn't a news column. This is an advertisement masquerading as a news story. Oh, how convenient is that?

I love how modern newspapers do this crap. Print up stories about new products that look like it's news but it is just a glorified product placement.

It goes like this: Company x released this great thing today. It'll save people money. This expert says it's great. Here's two - three paragraphs from their press release. More info at their website.

The rest of the story is the same old blah, blah, blah. You can go read it for yourself if you want.

Till next time folks.