Tie Die Coffins

I know, I know it should be Dye, but I like my version better.

Baby boomer death has been in the news a bit more lately. We recently had this post about a site for baby boomers to plan their own funerals.

Now we have modern art urns.

Crowther, 51, of Asheville, wanted to start a business aimed at art-loving baby boomers like herself. She came up with what she sees as a growth industry -- selling handcrafted urns and other end-of-life products to baby boomers and their loved ones.

She's hoping to cash in on two trends. Cremations are steadily increasing, both in the Carolinas and across the country. And experts say boomers are revolutionizing the death industry, focusing on celebrating the lives of loved ones with intensely personal memorials.

How do you revolutionize the death industry?

Your dead. You can't do much about it. You can lie there. Your still dead. Your body can be burned to dust and your still dead.

It's not very revolutionary.

Crowther says most baby boomers she knows are losing their parents and beginning to ponder their own mortality. Increasingly, that means planning cremations.

This is a part I don't get. How is it that they have waited until now to ponder their own mortality? Or are they? Would we have news stories about them redefining retirement if they were pondering their own mortality?

I don't know. Maybe it's because I am part of that angst ridden generation that realized early on that all life was transient that statement like the above really make wonder, "WTF?"

You're in your late 40's, fifties and early 60's and it is only occurring to some of you now that one day you'll be dead.

How is that possible?

Many boomers and others are looking for cost savings, as well. The average cost of a traditional funeral is about $6,000, according to the Federal Trade Commission. A simple cremation can cost one-fifth of that. Even with a full service, cremation cuts out burial costs.

Oh yeah, I forgot. The boomers are broke too. The don't have enough money for retirement let alone dieing.

"Baby boomers have changed every social practice," says Bastianelli. "They're doing the same thing with death, changing the focus to celebrating life."

Right. I forgot nobody ever did that before. No one has ever faced up to death willingly and embraced their fate.

• It is the brave man's part to live with glory, or with glory die - Sophocles


• Valour is the contempt of death and pain - Tacitus


• Thus that which is the most awful of evils, death, is nothing to us, since when we exist there is no death, and when there is death we do not exist - Epicurus


• If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster - Isaac Asimov


• I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter - Winston Churchill


• The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time - Mark Twain

I hope those are good enough to make my point. Death as always been there. It has always been faced and it has always been celebrated.

So boomers, get over yourselves. Just like sex and drugs. You weren't the first ones to do them.

Burr's studio behind her Black Mountain house displays her first two designs for Shine on Brightly. Both are steel urns, about 18 inches tall, adorned with whimsical figures.

Those designs are priced at $2,400. As of last week, Burr, 52, hadn't received any orders. But her other sculptures sell in galleries, so she's busy.

She says she's excited about collaborating with customers on one-of-a-kind pieces.

"What an honor, to get involved with someone's life and death," Burr says, "to try to find their essence."

Dead has no essence. It's dead.

Something For Fun

Ya think?

Can slacker go corporate? That's the title of the post over at the Economist.

IT SEEMS every generation experiences four stages of emotion as they join the labour market: denial, anger, acceptance, and then finally complete indoctrination. Before we become corporate drones, we spend some time convinced something bigger or more meaningful exists, ie being a photo journalist in Patagonia. Then reality beckons and we get angry with the corporate structure as it envelops us. We talk about the “man” and watch smugly movies like Office Space over and over. Next, you come to realise that corporate job is not so bad. After all, it affords nice things like furniture from the Pottery Barn and sushi/karaoke nights on the town. Then stage four: we become the “man” embracing fully the corporate hierarchy that brought us riches. By then we watch our children enter stage one with bemusement.

You know, I never reached stage four. I did the denial. Then worked for a small place. Eased my way into corporate world by working my way up and stayed in stage two the entire time.

My first few corporate jobs I busted my ass. Did a great job. I was rewarded with them, "No longer requiring my services." It seems I had worked myself out of a job. So maybe I did try to embrace it. Just for a little bit. I was naive. I was young. It lasted maybe a year.

I watched "Office Space" and said, "holy shit that is my life". Read Dilbert and said, "holy shit that is my life".

I never reached the part where I thought corporate life wasn't so bad. In fact, the longer I was in it, the more I realized it was populated by clueless morons who didn't know what the fuck they were doing.

The fact that they stayed in business only proved that every corporation was run by clueless morons and that kept a level playing field.

The longer I was in a corporation the less I cared for it. It eventually became a game of how much I could suck out of the place. Just like "Office Space" I would do maybe a good fifteen minutes of work a week. And that was in a good week. Let me tell you, those corporation were really happy with that fifteen minutes too. They thought I rocked. I could never figure that out. Unless, it really was that shitty of a place to work.

I've had corporate jobs where I spent more time trying to look busy than actually being busy. I did it so well that they extended my contract and raved about my performance. I would have found another job but the economy was so bad that there was no place else to go. So I stayed.

It sucked.

But, now it seems Gen X’ers have broken the inter-generational pact. Remember the Gen X’ers; we called them lazy “slackers” as they took bong hits from Coke bottles and listened to Alice in Chains (that’s how they experienced their denial phase). Well, they pulled it together, took showers, shaved their goatees (x-er: I, nor any of my friends ever had a goatee), and got jobs (many of the plucky entrepreneurial types even started tech firms). As Gen X’ers entered the acceptance stage (x-er: none of my friends ever entered the acceptance stage either), we stopped paying attention to them and began to deride the millennials for being narcissistic, shallow, and skipping the denial and anger stages. (x-er: Cool Wand!)

I didn't know the pact was there. There was no advancement options in the corporations that I worked at. There was no ladder to climb. The ladder was full of boomers trying to claw over each other and making sure they kicked every one off the bottom rung.

The baby boomers can keep their corporation. I have nothing against the concept. I would just like to see those companies die and take their pension plans with them. You know, the pension plans that Gen-x doesn't get that the boomers grandfathered themselves into.

But, according to Tammy Erikson, the Gen X’ers are experiencing some difficulty with stage four (revelry) (x-er: That's because we've figured out it's all a big fucking lie) and reverting back to stage two (anger/rebellion) (x-er: oh. Guess I make her point).

Many of you X'ers are not thrilled with corporate life. You tend not to trust institutions (x-er: Geeze, I wonder why?) in general and deeply resent the Boomers' confident assumptions that you will be motivated by the same things that Boomers have long cared about. Many of you have told me that you are planning to leave corporate life "soon"—to start entrepreneurial ventures or work for smaller companies—options you feel will suite you better than the corporate roles looming ahead.

Ms Erikson worries this might be a problem. Stage four is vital to a thriving economy. The corporate structure requires leadership. With the baby boomers nearing retirement, now is not the time for Gen X’ers burning out on the corporate life style.

Again, we were never in the corporate lifestyle. I didn't want us and we didn't want it. We are just there because that is where the jobs are.

Why would we have any emotional ties to a place that could / would / did downsize us at the drop of a hat. (Even when we really did have a lot of work to do).

Increased globalisation brought increased competition to the stalwart firms (x-er: They sent our jobs to India). It means the labour market rewards different skills (x-er: Do you want fries with that?). Before, having long tenure and building up firm specific human capital (being knowledgeable about your firm) made you extremely valuable. Now, greater competition from abroad increased the premium on industry specific human capital (being knowledgeable about your field). These skills are better acquired by having more jobs at a wider variety of firms during your career. (x-er: The merger will lead to downsizes. You should start looking for a new job now.)

...

Part of the labour market experience is hearing from the proceeding cohort you lack the discipline and drive they did. Gen X'ers likely have the same distribution of talent and ambition other generations had. What’s new about them: the incentives they face.

You know. I don't have the same drive. Fuck it. You can have my drive, I have no use for it.

I don't want a McMansion. I don't want a big SUV. I want a house I can own within ten years. A car I can pay cash for and no debts. No minimum monthly payments. And cash (in the form of silver) hidden in jars for rainy days.

I don't think it is a hippie view I am expounding either. It reminds me of my grand-parents and great-grand-parents views of the world.

Nope. You can keep the corporate, Madison Ave inspired bullshit baby boomer dream. Let it die with the boomers I have no use for it.

It took me a long time to figure this out.

Gen-x'ers. If you are still chasing the manufactured dream. Wake up. You don't need it. Hell, you never even wanted it. It was our age group, after all, that had a fashion trend that found its clothes in the Goodwill.

Here's your video clip for today. Our lives in the corporate world:


You know. I watched that clip. And I worked one contract that I really did have four different bosses. None of them knew what I was doing, and one time something went wrong and they all got pissed at me. Then they got pissed at each other because each one should have been managing the problem before it became an issue. It was like a giant management circle jerk.

Oh well, here's another clip for you. Have some flare:



I think only a gen-xer can really appreciate this movie. Here's the flair follow up. Joanna expresses herself:

Keep it in thier faces

Fear and Loathing in Boomerdom.

Even baby boomers are sick of listening to themselves. Which is kind of funny. The most self-centered generation is stuck in its own echo chamber listening to itself and they are starting to get tired of what they hear.

From some publication some where comes this boomer on boomer bit:

I think I know why: These young people are sick of Baby Boomers. Actually, a lot of us are sick of them. I'm 59, so I am a Baby Boomer, and even I am sick of us. We need to go. It's bad enough that Cher has brought her Botox Tour to Las Vegas again, but this generation still wants to govern America. As journalist, Jeff Chang has noted, "Boomers seem to have had a great difficulty imagining what could come after themselves."

That young people might be searching for an alternative to the Boomer leadership is hardly surprising. We've saddled them with a broken Social Security System, inadequate health care, a deteriorating environment, a corrupt toxic political system, and an endless war.

Instead of providing the leadership and experience necessary to solve these problems, Boomers are focused on excuse-making and whining. Told all of their lives that they are so important, Boomers can't gracefully exit the stage, and let a new generation take control of the future. Sixty is not the new forty. Sixty is sixty. Old.

I don't think I could improve on that one.

Sometimes you just have to cut and past. Here's the rest.

Think about it. Bill Clinton and George W. Bush were born within 60 days of each other in 1946. Clinton personifies the "If it feels good, do it" personal credo of the Boomers, as well as its excuse-making avoiding of personal responsibility meme. Hillary's got the entitlement thing going. Finish off with Bush and his arrogance, and you've got Robo-Boomer.


We're everywhere. Who sends the food and wine back at a restaurant? Boomers. Who tries to jam the oversize bag in the overhead bin on the plane? Boomers. Who complains that the new aerobics instructor is not as good as the old one? Boomers.

We watched too much TV. We smoked too much dope. We got divorced too quick. We read too much Madison Avenue hype that we were a unique generation.

Our Boomer leader Clinton gave us Monica, Paula, Marc Rich, Gennifer Flowers, Travelgate, Whitewater and Impeachment. Our leader Bush gave us Terry Schiavo, Guantanamo, Katrina, Abu Ghraib, Rendition, Weapons of Mass Destruction, and Waterboarding. Quite the legacy.

Boomer politicians, you had your chance. Please go. Volunteer. Work for a foundation. Or a think tank. Take care of your grandkids. Play golf. Something. Anything. Just get off the stage. Now.

Now that is good stuff.

I'll just let it stand on its own.

Dead is the new Alive or A Tisket a Tasket Time to Pick Your Casket

Sorry, I think I was channeling Bullwinkle there for a minute (what's really funny is that Bullwinkle is in the spellchecker) (yes, that's right, I typed it with one 'l' at first) (what can I say, I went to public school) (and graduated too).

With that out of the way.

Just like all other firsts the baby boomer generation experienced (sex, drugs, etc.) some of them (really a small few) are now learning that they are going to be the first generation to die. So being the micro managers that they are, they are planning their own funerals.

Last month, the pair launched mywonderfullife.com, a Web site aimed at boomers who want to take charge of their own funeral arrangements. The goal is to help people who might otherwise resist thoughts of the hereafter to plan their exit strategies (x-er: Yes please do.).

"What this audience really wants are tools to make their lives easier — how can this help me save time, how can this help me cross one more thing off of my to-do list?" said Kruskopf, whose Minneapolis ad agency Kruskopf Coontz spent a year designing and developing the site along with Bush.

How many people really put, "Die" on their to-do list? As I list out things I want to do this week I can't say as I've placed that one on the list. I know it's out there waiting for me. Someday I won't be here and neither will you. But to have it on my to-do list?

The quote, "What this audience really wants are tools to make their lives easier..." kind of makes me wonder; what could be easier than being dead? You're dead. You're done. Over. Finished. Done. Gone. Out. (Bonus points to any one who catches the reference.) You have no worries. Maybe if they had said, "remove some of the burden from your loved ones by having it all ready for them" that would have been a little different. That would have showed them that you cared, that you wanted to make it easier on them. But, in true baby boomer fashion, their death is still all about them.

The site also provides how-to information on such topics as budgeting for a funeral, writing your own obituary, even planning a burial at sea. To inspire those who lean toward the nontraditional, the site offers more than a dozen ideas, including actor Heath Ledger's funeral (where mourners jumped into the sea) and gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson (whose ashes were shot from a cannon).

To date, mywonderfullife.com has about 200 members and no advertisers, though Kruskopf said she and Bush have gotten interest from businesses related to health care, financial services and retirement planning. Neither are quitting their day jobs.

I predict they won't get a lot of users. They may get some traffic but not members. You see, though some boomers know they are going to die, they know that it won't happen to them.

But James Love, Web master of the satirical site boomerdeathcounter.com, said he finds the notion of planning one's own funeral just another self-centered act from the "Me Generation." Death is a time to ponder the sacredness of life, said Love, a former pastor, in an e-mail from Vernon, British Columbia.

"Boomers in their vanity often attempt to cut this short through having the funeral be all about them," he said. "Funerals are for the living to honor the dead. Not the dead to express the last of their over-inflated sense of self."

It is all about them. That's why 40 was the new 30. Then fifty was the new 35. Now 60 is the new 40. Soon 70 will be the new 45. Until one day, dead is the new alive.

When you are in denial nothing is ever going to going to happen to you. The boomers won't worry about death not at least not for another 100 years or so. Me, I'll be gone by then. And so dear reader will you.

(What's a snarky post without a video thrown in? Here's Green Day's Ha Ha Your Dead) (P.S. you gotta love fan videos.)